I know we generally discuss Pokemon here with a few random topics like music and some of our other experiences, but since there are various age groups on this forum, I wanted to ask this question.
I recently moved to a completely different place for a short term internship, and I’m struggling to figure out a way to meet people to hang out with. The interns are nice and I’ve spent a little time with them, but wondering how to go about meeting people outside of work? I’m located in a college town so there are some locals and few a younger students, but its pretty empty and things are a somewhat walkable but spread out.
I don’t have a car while I’m here and the public transit is limited, so I’ve been getting rides from co-workers here and there, mainly to work. Its only week 1 so a few friends from back home have mentioned that it’ll take some more time to connect with others.
This is the first time I’ve really experienced something like this, and I know there are definitely some older collectors out here on the forum and was wondering what you did if this kind of situation happened to you?
TLDR: How to make friends in a completely new place?
And for forum sake, let me know what your favorite Pokemon is haha. Mine is teddiursa.
You can try to see if your new location has a subreddit. I know the Toronto subreddit has a regular thread for meeting new people or different activities happening in the city.
Also, you can try to find a local meet up or group that you’re interested in, to make some local friends in other hobbies. I go to journal meetups every so often, and also am part of a couple book clubs. I know that walking, running and/or hiking groups are also popular. I am sure there are other hobbies you can try! If you are interested in crafting, I think one way would be to stop by a local craft supply shop and ask the employees there if they know of any meetups (Edit: I think game shops might also work for this tactic!)
Good luck! I hope you can settle in comfortably over the next few weeks.
Also, I usually pitch Azumarill as my favourite but lately I’ve been in a Bellossom and Lilligant mood. I like to view them as siblings or close friends!
I’ve lived in 5 cities/towns over the past 10 years. I’m not going to sugarcoat this: making friends as an adult is hard.
Here are my suggestions:
Join community organizations that you identify with (e.g., sports, Pokemon trading communities, faith organizations, hobby-related groups like art/crafts, breweries, etc.).
Get to know your coworkers. Some of my best friends were once coworkers.
Depending on your interests, visit venues that other single people are at (e.g., bars, places with live music, parks, coffee/tea shops, libraries). Some dating apps have options for friends-only that can work out just fine.
Be willing to get a bit uncomfy. The process of making new friends can be super uncomfortable until you find the right people that you “jive” with.
Lastly, we are always here for you too. A lot of people scoff at online friendships, but they can be just as real and meaningful as in-person friends. They’re not a substitute, but can definitely grow your social network.
If your town has them, breweries. Seriously. I made a cross country move a couple years ago and I’ve met some of my close friends and my lady friend at a brewery. It’s a completely different vibe than a bar, people are usually really friendly and social, and there are usually lots of regulars. Find a brewery you like. There’s usually a great sense of community there. I still go to my regular spot once or twice a week. I’m not saying you have to go get shitfaced, but go hang out and drink a few adult beverages and meet cool folks.
I’ve lived in four different cities since 2015. The way I met people was through meetups. I used to run a lot so I joined a running group and we would go hang out after our runs.
I also joined rec sports such as volleyball. What was great that just like running we would hang out after games.
Not all groups do that but you can always meet people and see if they want to hang outside of the group.
Just find what you like and chances are there is some sort of group for it. Book clubs, trivia nights etc.
Like @Dyl has said making friends as an adult is hard but it is doable. It just takes effort. Also we are here for you too like was said before. I met a friend of mine through Pokémon on instagram who owns a card shop and I’ve gone to visit him a few times and went to shows with him. We even text and talk Pokémon cards and sets etc.
I wish you the best of luck in the job and in the new area. Keep at it and remember to have fun and be kind to yourself. Nothing comes overnight but things happen when we work at them.
And my favorite Pokémon is charizard as you can probably tell from my username
I have been asked to give advice on this by many friends over the years. It really does boil down to going outside your comfort zone, whatever that might be.
To some it means mustering up the courage to approach strangers in unfamiliar situations, to some it means going through the “hassle” of joining a social structure beyond the safety of work/school/family and to some it means accepting the risk of trying and failing to make friends before you do.
It sounds like you’ve already received some prudent advice from your friends. It is only week 1, a lot of things can happen.
@lookaclara Thank you so much for the advice! I was looking through Facebook groups originally today but totally forgot about Reddit! I’ll check it out and search for more meet up opportunities.
@Dyl Thank you for your suggestions and for the bluntness of your post. I also appreciate your last bullet point. I come on this forum often and tried explaining a to a friend recently that even through I only know people on here through their user name, consistently reading through their posts has shown so much of their personality and its always comforting to see people discuss on here.
@codytcas That’s a great option! I was trying to think if there was more of a middle ground for a bar since sometimes those can be too chaotic. I’ll research some of those since I know for sure a few are around here.
@Charizard1020@c0ll3ct0r Thank you both for your responses. I think collect0rs response really sums it up well: “Risk failing to make friends before you do”. I will do better this coming week in putting myself out there and finding a few organizations to join. And hopefully that translates to something.
Thank you all. Thanks @smpratte for keeping this forum a wholesome space–I appreciate it.
If you play sports at all, find a disc golf league around you. Usually the scene is very inviting and you’re bound to find someone with mutual interests.
A bit late to this party, but the general theme is MEET PEOPLE doing something that you also enjoy. The benefit to making friends as an adult is that they are adults, and not selfish clicky kids (as much). Plus, you aren’t stuck with them! If they’re jerks, move on.
But I meet people everywhere just doing what I like. I would recommend though, choose ONE THING. I have many interests, and as such, don’t spend enough time and effort on just one of them to be REALLY IN that community and make friends. Choose one interest to drill down and get involved in.
OR
Make a routine around your campus, neighborhood, whatever. Grab coffee at the same place every morning. Groceries at the same time. Whatever works, at least at first. As people see you regularly, they’ll feel comfy when you strike up a convo.
'F’s of Conversation
From - where are each of you from?
Fun - what are the fun activities around there?
Fired up - what are they excited for?
Future plans - Theirs? yours? in common?
Making Contact
Lastly to start a convo, try open ended questions: “What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever seen here?” “What deals do you have right now?”
If anxiety comes into play at all, I have a fun exercise that I test myself with from time to time: Ask people at the register, “Can I get a discount?”
What’s the worst that could happen?! It’s intended to get you over the sense of awkwardness. A sales mentor gave it to me and it’s GOLD!
And WHO KNOWS what will come up. You’re an awesome person, I’m sure, so other awesome people will be glad to meet you!
edit: because I’m a dork and forgot to include my favorite PkMn
Steelix, with Ceruledge a new close second.
I just wanted to provide a quick update and an overall thank you from everyone who replied to this post.
I ended up joining some local community groups that meet 1-2 times a week which has been such a welcoming group of people, played board games with some folks through meetup, have been hanging out with a friend I met through a mutual from my university and have put myself out there in different ways.
Living like this has definitely been a change but I have some fun events/trips planned over the coming weeks and I’ve been spending time working on side projects, calling friends from back home, and building my portfolio as job recruiting season is starting again soon.
This has for sure been a new moment of growth for me and I’m thankful to have a community like you all that support the changes even if it isn’t Pokémon related. Thank you.
