Hello, friends. I want to start this thread by asking for everyone to be kind and respectful. For many of us this can be a sensitive topic.
I am autistic and Pokemon has been a life long special interest of mine. I was only diagnosed some what recently, so I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about autism and how it’s intertwined itself with my life.
So I thought I’d reach out here and see what the community says. I’m looking for perspective, experiences and thoughts from others while also seeking answers within myself. I hope that makes sense and doesn’t sound silly.
Never been good with social aspects of life so the internet blooming gave me a way to communicate on my own time and at my own pace. Still brings its own set of complications with fixations but it’s far more manageable.
Avoid physical venders or attractions but still enjoy watching others attend online. Think a lot of my interest in the hobby surrounds watching others enjoy. Ofc I have my own specific set of focuses but don’t think there would be a continued attraction if there wasn’t at least some connection with others in social media.
I could see myself attending but I also know I’m too quiet and the cards I’m attached to really aren’t in circulation with these environments. But it’s like the lyrics to that Modest Mouse song:
And I’m lonesome when you’re around
And I’m never lonesome when I’m by myself
Not about the song being sad or trying to invoke pity, but recognizing your limitations and accepting it. Might even come off as egotistical or self centered. I try not to be in the negative sense of the word(s).
I feel the same about vending videos on YT. I love to watch them, but I understand and accept I couldn’t attend. The crowds, noise and chaos are all huge issues for me.
I can also relate to you about the cards you enjoy most not really circulating at these events. I am in large part a vintage collector and to further complicate it; very interested in Japanese cards.
I think a lot of us are! If not most Pokemon has been a life long SPIN for me as well! I was also late diagnosed too.
Like many others, I find the best way for me to engage with the hobby is sharing and collecting online. I have attended conventions but it’s always a multi week recovery process which is quite intense but worth it (in my case!). I also think as Pokemon autists, we are so blessed by how much content we get lol, a nice bonus.
I’d say my best advice from my experience is be unapologetically autistic. Indulge in your special interest and be you best self! Cringe is dead, be free, be happy! I really focused on that last year and Im the happiest I’ve ever been in this aspect of my life.
im autistic but a master masker, so its not something ppl pick up on unless they really get to know me. always really struggled with feeling social connection despite being very good at making friends. a nice thing about online community is that u can really take the time to clearly map out what u want to say, and theres less miscommunication due to missed social cues, facial expression, body language, etc
I agree with Bea, I feel like many of us here are (including myself!). That’s not a silly question at all. You’re not automatically autistic if you like Pokemon as an adult, but they can definitely correlate, and I’ve met so many friends here in this community that I click with, only to find out they’re also some flavor of neurodivergent. Piplup in the TCG is one of my special interests (obviously), I love the wealth of information found here on E4, and there’s a special kind of solidarity surrounding seeing everyone be so passionate about their collections here, autistic, neurodivergent, or not.
Card shows and conventions are so much fun for me, but they can definitely be overstimulating. I love the connections I’ve made with collectors at our local shows, even though they knock me out of commission for a while afterward. Online connection is wonderful, but I also crave the in-person infodump sessions that finding a good irl friend provides. Autistic joy is a wonderful thing, truly.
Overall, it’s important to engage in the hobby the way that’s best for you! For me, trying new things is incredibly difficult, but I also crave learning and new experiences (as much of a contradiction as that is). Taking steps for introspection and learning how to be most comfortable with yourself and who you are is also important, and I appreciate the topic here. My DMs are always open if you (or anyone else) needs a space to chat as well.
Totally agree with this! I tend to mask pretty well but apparently how I hold myself physically gives it away haha. I like messaging online so much more because it’s easier to convey tone and I can make sure what Im saying is what Im wanting to say. Or at least as close as I can to it!
My view has always been that while some are more obvious than others, there’s no binary line between neurotypical and neurodivergent, most people have at least some form of autistic traits to an extent
I never thought I was autistic until I got diagnosed during an ocd assessment but I got a surprise two for one deal.
In retrospect almost every conversation I have ever had should have been a giant red flag but eh I guess I was too busy explaining misprints and obscure errors to randoms I just met…
I’ve been reflecting on my past social interactions lately as well. Many friends whom I’ve disclosed my diagnosis to have said “yeah well I know” or something similar.
It seems the only person my diagnosis surprised was me. But now as I reflect, I suppose it was obvious. But it leaves me feeling insecure about my self view. How did I not figure it out exactly, when everyone else could so fast and surely?
At the same time, it answers a lot of life long questions I’ve had about myself. Why are my social interactions difficult? Why do I struggle in X? Etc.
That makes a lot of sense. I can imagine how hearing “I knew” would mess with your self view a bit.
I don’t think our not seeing it sooner says anything bad about you or I. It’s just a different vantage point. And it’s okay for it to feel complicated, especially if it’s also answering big questions.
I think it can take a while to fully embrace the diagnosis for some people. Personally, I was already confident a few years before my diagnosis, so I had done all the work already to break down what autism means/means to me and dismantle society’s view of autism instilled in me. I wish I could recommend where to start, but I don’t remember much of the process, tbh!
I feel this insecurity is totally normal when you weren’t exactly expecting the diagnosis. There was a study floating around last year (I think it was?) about how quickly neurotypical people can identify neurodivergent/autistic people, or at least I think it was something about that. I don’t recall the specifics now. It takes literal seconds! Always surprising how we don’t see it for ourselves though!
I know what you mean though, about not seeing it in yourself first. I think the first year or so of a late diagnosis is the biggest time for personal development. You will find a lot of strategies to live better with yourself and understand yourself on a much deeper level. It can have its ups and downs as you grapple with fully understanding yourself and the disability. But I promise it’s much brighter on the other side. Everything you’re feeling right now is so normal, and I’m sure many other late diagnosed people can relate
This is basically the same as how it has been for me, I knew from my social awkwardness that I was slightly different but didn’t think much of it until I was diagnosed in my 20s.
Now looking back on my past interactions it explains a lot where people I have interacted with would have been thinking, “there’s something with this guy but I can’t quite put my finger on it”. I feel like I can read people and mask it well other than my flat speech giving it away. But damn the way I sound and come across in my head is so different to watching it back on tape.
Most people don’t say anything to me but some have been blunt enough to hint or mention it in recent years. Others think nothing of it and some even refused to believe that I am that way.
The older I get the more I can recognise it in others, about 30% of the people at my work have at least some mild undiagnosed traits. There’s also a lot of cool people who are super smart or rich with it. Which is why I don’t like how the word autism and the whole spectrum is associated with disability rather than “different”
I said this to a colleague a year or two ago. She was also the “autism professional” without in the school. And she really went into an angry rant about it. But I stick with it; everybody is on the spectrum. Not wanting people near you when you wake up, having alarm set at only 5 minutes, tv volume only on even or uneven numbers. It’s all on the spectrum. It’s only called differently when it starts affecting your daily activities in a negative way.
You aren’t automatically autistic if you like Pokémon over the age of 18. It’s also really not something to aspire to be, either.
@CR4WD4UNT No, but some say that the desire to collect and order things is a big sign of autism. Or being over invested in a certain object. Strangely enough people call you an autistic nerd when knowing everything about Pokémon, but don’t call you an autistic nerd if you can name all players of a football team in current formation all way back to 1970, stating which championships they won and how many goals they made.
I don’t enjoy modern society’s obsession with labels and identity politics. I’m not autistic myself (or at least, as far as I know), and I’m fortunate enough to be a well-adjusted healthy individual, but dig deep enough and there might be some aspects of my life that differentiate me from others in either positive or negative ways. Does that matter though? It’s a natural part of being an individual. There’s a necessity in battling stigmas against mental/physical afflictions but I think it’s not unreasonable to say the developed world has mostly achieved that, and to keep dissecting labels further only does a disservice to the individual.
Pokemon has been a life long SPIN for me as well! I was also late diagnosed too.
