this is a random rant, I apologize for it being sudden.
I check it every single day, talk about pokemon, look at cards I cant get, can’t focus on schoolwork because of this site, and frankly, I don’t really have much else to do. I dont really got friends to spend time with and I don’t have anyone in the neighborhood to hang out with, and most of the time people just assume things so I wind up with no friends even if I tried. The last time I’ve had friends I screwed it up and lost all of them, and since this happened multiple times I decided to not make anymore friends. All I really have is pokemon cards and family, and I don’t really have enough money to buy new pokemon cards that much. I’m always impulse buying pokemon cards whenever I see them, and since it’s the only thing I can also make money with, I try to sell them (some of yall know how that went)
I frankly don’t know what to do, I still think it’s better that I’m not friends with any highschooler (I don’t trust any of them and probably will not for the rest of the 4 years, and Friendships are too complicated for me to not screw up them), and my desire for buying pokemon cards is alarming.
Again, sorry for the random rant, but I dont exactly know where else to go.
@zubat@eeveeteam I cant join any extracirccular activities yet, and I’m not getting a job until summer school. I’m so glad I have a family, but it’s kinda tough going to school having to look at everyone with their friends and wonder what it would be like if I tried to make friends again.
It might not seem like it now but nothing that happens in high school makes a lick of difference once you graduate. None. 99.9% of those people you probably won’t see again, ever, after graduation night and I’m not even joking. I know it’s easy for me to say but don’t sweat what happens at school because in a few years it won’t matter at all.
I also agree with @eeveeteam , go to local game stores if you have them in your area. Hang out, meet people, join tournaments. You’ll meet lots of nice, supportive people that have the same or similar interests. Then those people will introduce you to their friends, etc etc and next thing you know you have a bunch of good friends.
Join the gym. Really gives you confidence, makes you disciplined in all aspects and also makes you mentally a lot tougher. Don’t have money for a gym, just follow the Saitama workout. You will be surprised what exercise can do for overall development. Also a really great place to make some gym buddies!
I want to also echo what @eeveeteam said. Go outside, but not with the specific purpose of meeting someone. If opportunity presents itself to interact please do so. Just put yourself in social situations but don’t expect any changes, just let them happen. But you need to take the first step to be social about it.
Not so practical advice:
We all know, at the outset people can be dishonest and untrustworthy. But you can’t exactly let that keep you from making friends or even partners. In my opinion, go in with full enthusiasm but keep your eyes wide open. Or in other words trust but don’t ignore any red flags that may come up. You can always learn things about the world and yourself even from people who are untrustworthy.
Always be content and happy with what you have, for you always have yourself (even in loneliness), and everything external is exactly that; external (not in your control).
You are very young, so please relax and live it up, long life to go, with so much learning to do. It won’t be long before you will be joining the grind of the workforce, putting in the hours, coming home and doing stuff for the kids and always pass out on your couch browsing Netflix menus!
My guy live your life. The cards will always be there. You got a lifetime to collect. Nothing wrong with being active on here just try to not let it run your life. Most of us are rootin for you pal. Highschool sucks and it isnt easy but like others said this time in your life will be behind you in no time and youll realize that it was all trivial. Youll find friends. Your making some here too. Im not good at the whole making friends thing either.
I’m a bit older than you but I think I can relate to, at least, something you said. I know how frustrating can be not having an income or being under FOMO pressure.
You’re so young and there’s the entire life to collect pokemon cards, they aren’t going anywhere. We survived the pandemic prices, and the japanese waifu bubble, we are still here. Remember that this is an enjoyable hobby and should always be a pleasure, not a job or a anxiety source.
Trust me, I saw other members in the past burning from enthusiasm and falling in the dissatisfaction/burnout path, a typical pathway I would say in the overstimulating society of today.
Enjoy the slow process of learning and collecting, you can use these years to develop your collector taste and defining your goals: I changed them so many times, and FOMO led me to very bad or wrong purchases.
I really really don’t want to sound paternalistic, but you could prioritize investments (of time and resources) directed on yourself: these are years important to our development as persons, building bridges with people and learning what we like or not. We should embrace the concept of delayed rewards and slow gratification or we risk to be trapped in an unsatisfying life, where the brief dopamine spike of the purchase becomes our opioid.
So, I agree with others, gym or activities are great to learn skills, free the mind from compulsive ideas and, especially, know people like you.
Because there are people like you, that feel lonely or share your interests, good friends to make along the way.
First off don’t apologize. All of us have our own difficulties and life challenges. It’s ok to speak up and ask for help, often times you will be better for it as a result. Secondly, there are expensive things and cards outside everyone’s grasp. It’s important to focus on what you can accomplish, and be thankful for that. Thirdly I agree with @mrbubbles it is invaluable to be able to go to the gym or train martial arts and be outside. It will keep your body and mind healthy and make you feel physically better. Lastly this quote has always helped me, perhaps it can help you as well.
I check a few times a day too. But I just like talking about stuff that makes me happy. If you feel it’s too much than yes take a step back. But if you feel like it’s not effecting your outside life/responsibilities then it’s okay to talk about your Pokémon collection.
Damn, its really cool to see the community here come together to help this guy.
I can definitely relate to this. My two cents is that I’ve noticed for myself, whenever I start feeling this way, its because theres something else going on, unrelated to Pokemon/ E4 and Im subconsciously using the hobby as a coping mechanism/ escape from whatever else in my life is causing me grief. I think a lot of people use this hobby for escapism, which doesnt inherently have to be a bad thing, but obviously youre recognizing that its becoming problematic for you, or causing you distress. My best advice would be to try to take some time and space away from the hobby. Use that time to reflect and focus on whats causing you to feel negative (which it kinda seems like youve already done a bit).
Generally, I think you shouldnt let negative past experiences stop you from trying things again. Its scary to be vulnerable, but its worth the risk to meet and have genuine connections with people. Learn from when things go wrong and keep trying.
At the end of the day, we are just strangers on the internet who know nothing about your situation though, so I’d probably recommend talking to someone you trust about what youre struggling with. You said you have family, maybe a parent? Anyway, try not to doom out too hard. As others have said, highschool is just a blip of time.
1# Join a gym and make a conscious decision to go every day.
You will meet people there who are positive.
2# stop buying cards if it’s making you stressed. Before you buy something, sleep on it. There will always be a other opportunity to buy it. Do not fomo into stuff because someone bought it online or to flex on IG.
+1 on all the gym recommendations. I’m 33 and had never worked out in my life until about four months ago. I hired a personal trainer and go at least a few days a week. Not to sound cliche but it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
As a high school teacher, I approve this message. School work first, then Pokemon.
Seriously though, the great thing about being young is finding out what you’re passionate about and finding others who share those passions. Making friends is awkward and scary, but I would encourage everyone (OP and the rest of us) to prioritize relationships in life. Cardboard is cardboard, but experiences with others are more rewarding and enduring. Ultimately, a balance of both is desirable and achievable.
I’m not sure why but whenever you post I picture you as some sort of sage wearing a yoda cloak who can read the future through green tea leaves. Excellent advice!
@Vertemes the best piece of advice my mother ever gave me is ‘don’t be the victim’, and that woman had every reason to be just that! The more you feel sorry for yourself the less people feel like interacting. Everyone has difficulties, whether they be social, financial or otherwise, however only one person can make your life worthwhile. Everyone here is rooting for you!
Put yourself in time out. Your social life and love life is suffering. Some people take media breaks and social media breaks. You need a pokemon break. Only log into e4 from now on to click on affiliate links and spam them to others. Don’t buy anything for a bit either. You really don’t want to have to learn how to socialize in college. Now is the time to sort this out. Find ways to “reward” yourself with a pokemon purchase or firing up e4 for socializing down the road, but not at the expense of robust real life experiences.
