My fiance began collecting about four years ago and is OBSESSED. If only he looked at me the way he looks at his Charizard…HE MUMBLED THE WORD “BLASTOISE” IN HIS SLEEP THE OTHER NIGHT. My daily routine normally begins with him following me around the house giving me a 2 hour (at least) ‘pokemon update’ - what’s sold in the last 24 hours, how much for, what this means for the market and for our cards…“Scott says this…Gary said that…” I feel like I know those two personally. It’s safe to say I’ve been dragged kicking and screaming into the hobby - my brain has soaked up more information about the collecting market than about my degree.
Jokes aside I am DEAD Proud and fully come round. He’s pretty much solidified our future and we have no regrets. I wouldn’t have a leg to stand on even if I was still pissed off. I’m blown away by his dedication and passion. We’re starting to plan things which I never thought we’d have the opportunity to do in life, all because he stuck to his guns and pushed through with what he truly believed in and I’ll always be thankful.
The thing is it wasn’t always easy for me. I took a lot of convincing to invest at the beginning and I was worried that he was just jumping on a hype train. It was really hard to realise that it was safe and worth it to put off certain things to afford cards. In times where money was tight I a lot of resentment, I couldn’t look at cards like his blastoise without thinking “you started this you sparkly reptillian twat”.
But I think what would have really helped at the the time was reaching out to other partners of collectors. As a “Pokemon wife”, so to speak, I feel like I’m in this wierd limbo where I’m part of the hobby but also not. I’ve been a big part of my partner’s collecting journey, but haven’t got anyone to talk to about it who can relate to the highs and lows of supporting a pokemon collector.
Here you’re mostly only going to hear a collector’s opinion. All that can be said is that as long as his hobby doesn’t become a weight on your relationship than it should be fine. That’s great to support your partner’s hobby however I hope he’s not forcing you into a hobby that you have no actual interest. If that’s the case probably best to chat about that and establish that he has is and you have whatever it is you are into. It’s one thing to collect and be invested into a hobby but obsessions are always dangerous. Honestly mumbling Blastoise in his sleep is alarming.
I can assure you though it’s a healthy obsession which has been really fulfilling for us both in so many ways, strengthening for us too, he fell asleep during one of Scott’s videos so it was obviously at the front of his deeply relexed brain. I’ve never been coerced or forced into buying into something I haven’t wanted to. If someone has no emotional connection with the franchise then they’ll need to be bought up to speed so that they have the opportunity to gain faith in it’s potential.
I just think the families and friends of collectors are a legitimate sub-community who share experiences from an alternative perspective, some of which might like the opportunity to connect with each other.
This, my friend, is the opportunity to talk about something different. People have been complaining about samey topics. Behind every sale is someone supporting the buyer in their interests, lending an ear when they can’t contain their excitement after striking a good deal, a shoulder to cry on after disappointment. People outside of the hobby who support it in ways that aren’t often addressed.
When I started reading this, I thought you were actually my friends wife in disguise haha! She has been complaining about us, but I think she recently had a minor change of heart. I guess it’ll just take time for her to come to terms with her husband’s obsession. She’s deciding to start a small collection of the cute pokemon that she remembers in order to see what she gets from it in terms of enjoyment.
When I first started dating my fiancée I jokingly let her know that Pokémon will always come first. She knew what Pokémon was but never had any cards growing up and had never played any of the games. Fast forward to now and she’s an avid Pokémon GO player who has put significantly more time into Pokémon in Sword & Shield than I have. We happily open new booster packs every now and then together - she’s pretty lucky at finding the rare ones.
Naturally I ask for her opinion when I’m wanting to spend ridiculous amounts on something Pokémon-related, but usually if I have second thoughts she’s there supportively saying “just get it!”.
It sounds like she’s pretty much in your shoes but with a Pichu behind the scenes instead of a Blastoise. She has a lot of knowledge about Pokémon but has yet to actively involve herself in any community - the closest she comes to that is occasionally commenting on my Instagram posts.
@rbear20,I understand somewhat of where you are coming from. It is important that he understands what takes priority as far as buying collectibles as well. My wife doesn’t understanding collecting and has no interest but she does understand that I enjoy it and that is all that matters. Although I may not be at the level of your fiance, there is a difference between healthy collecting and not. I guess my only issue is that I hear the word investment too much in this hobby and in hope that people are collecting first, investing second (unless real investing, not a hobby/collectible). It is good you both find an interest in it and something you can enjoy together .
But since you’re serious, I’m glad you two have found something to share in. My wife and I have a lot of shared hobbies but also have our independent ones, and collecting cards happens to be one of my own. We sometimes talk about our respective hobbies even though the other person doesn’t understand the details (for example, she’s really into costuming, and I can’t say I understand it at all). For us, ultimately we’re both happy about the other having something personally enjoyable.
I’m a lot less dedicated to Pokemon cards than your fiance, and I don’t view it as a key financial element to our lives (not that there’s anything wrong with that). My wife also isn’t really interested in personal finance at all, and I’ve basically handled our finances since we were teenagers, years before we got married (though I’ve tried to teach her more in recent years). But I think we can all relate in other ways–for us, there was a time when we were both in grad school and bleeding money, and it was something we had to be committed to together knowing that what we were doing was important for our future.
Tl;dr is I think as independent human beings, you’ll always have things that your partner isn’t into but hopefully supports just for your happiness. And you’ll also have big decisions that you should make together in a healthy relationship. Like anything else, Pokemon card collecting can fall into either category, and it’s great that you guys have been thoughtful about it.
Kidding aside (and hopefully this isnt trolling, i cant tell anymore), I know these avenues. As someone whom battled with addiction for many years prior to getting back into collecting, I knew this road would be paved with lots of hardships along the way being that it can be very easily to re adopt old tendencies and put them into something else. Some people, regardless of any past habits, are prone to having these sorts of tendencies more than others and when finances become involved it can be quite a devastating road to travel if not handled well.
That being said, this hobby is filled with big price tags, lots of things we want but dont need, moments of highs and lows, and sacrifices that some might need to make in order to keep the ball rolling in something that we can be so overtly passionate about. The key to success for anyone here would be one of my favorite sayings, which is to never spend beyond your means and continue to do what makes you happy while also being safe and cautious in between. I have a gf of 4 years myself and getting back into this hobby was through her aid, but there are those times of doubts and mild instability when things dont seem to go the way as planned, or when money might be a tight obstacle in a purchase. Hwta helps the most is to have constant positive communication, keep things as simple as possible and productive, and still largely doing what will ultimately benefit not just one party, but both as a whole through this journey together in sharing in ones interests. So long as these things go smoothly and elements of toxicity are few and far in between, id say that the end result then could only be positive.
I hope for you and your partner that even though there have been ups and downs that in the end you may each have an equal share of interests and love, and with that im glad to see you share such a tale here with us to switch up the daily topics of things a bit. Its always nice to engage with something different, and thanks again for your courage here in doing so.
Yeah sorry as soon as I posted he told me the word “invest” can be touchy here. I completely sympathise, not that this is your exact experience but I’d find it agonising if something I collected for enjoyment was turned expensive and somewhat materialistic by other’s gravitating towards it for pure financial gain. Not to mention those who can no longer complete their beloved childhood sets because prices have been driven so high by others. That’s just fucking heartbreaking.
Let me be clear though, he is collecting for enjoyment and nostalgia in the here and now. However, if selling our collection in the future means better quality of life or even an early retirement, then ABSOLUTELY without hesitiation we would sell. Collecting for pure enjoyment ALL THE TIME is not something that “generation rent” can promise - honestly, I hate to be part of the problem but you’re completely right, in some respects we very much are.
Genuine question though and I don’t want it to seem hostile. Words like “invest” are picked up on due to the connotations I mentioned above. But why is it more accepted for people to talk about “price points”, “low value/high value”, “overpriced/underpriced”. As an outsider, those words have extremely strong connotations to this idea of collecting for financial gain.
Really enjoyed reading that, thanks for responding. It was a small part of your reply but I just to touch on the financial gain element because I’ve been thinking about it a lot. I think what I’ve learnt in the last 24 hours is how flexible and “changing with time” someone’s motivation behind collecting can be. It’s very interesting. I notice the language I used in my original post was very suggestive of “I only came round once I realised how much money they can go up by”. I think that’s a bit strong but partly true for most friends/family of collectors because they simply don’t have the emotional attachment to the product. My partner has the “collect first, invest second” attitude and I admire him for that. Notwithstanding, the feelings that I get when I witness the enjoyment he get’s out of collecting ALWAYS surpasses and overrides the feelings I get when I hear about one of our cards going up in price. So in some ways, maybe I’m moving towards the “collect first, invest second” attitude too. (But as I mentioned on a different post, we would absolutely sell up if it meant a better quality of life (a pokemon card could survive thousands of years in the right conditions, I however, will not haha)