Bad Trades With A Close Friend: Need Advice..

Hi eFour,

I don’t know where else to turn. I am so confused in my feelings and upset, mad at myself many other things…

The Story:

When I first joined eFour I had just purchased a 1st edition base set as some of you will remember. This set came with a grey stamp blastoise which in my eyes was a psa5, 6 at max. My goal was to complete the base set holos in psa8/9s. So, i figured this blastoise would not fit the bill and i traded it with my friend for a gold star umbreon. (NM - Mint)

eFour members valued my blastoise at 500 - 600 usd which i thought was about the same as umbreon. Fair trade, I was happy my friend was happy life goes on.

My friend decides to grade the blastoise and what do you know it gets a psa9. My heart drops. A grey stamp blastoise, with a psa9 tag behind it? This is huge, this card is not common and you will not find it. Whereas I can go on ebay and buy 5 gold star umbreons in a minute. Basically im pretty fucked off at myself. I want the card back, it would fit perfect into my graded holos. I’ve already asked my friend to trade it back and he won’t, of course. He knows what it’s worth.

The thing is which gets me is i’ve traded my friend many mint raw cards that have gotten high grades. For example:

PSA10 Skyridge Charizard Holo
PSA10 Skyridge Gyarados Holo
PSA10 Ex Crystal Guardians Charizard Reverse Holo

I dont mind doing these trades as I have these cards, or whatever. But when I play back conversations in my head with my friend, he would say to me “Im not going to trade you this because it has a potential to be a 10” (gold star charizard for example)

Interesting. As I will trade him my raw cards that will get 10’s but he wont do the same for me. I’m beginning to think that I am getting played constantly. My friend will trade me his LP - Nm cards all day, ones he knows wont get 10’s because its not risking his value or he’s already got the card but when the tables are turned he will not do the same.

I’m beginning to resent him and really upset that he won’t budge on this card as i have done so much for him but he won’t do the same for me… I’m 24 and i need some older members guidance. Please, can anyone help me.

Disclaimer: I know i shouldn’t have traded in the first place but whats done is done. It’s my fault and I only have myself to blame.

Lesson learned: you are a very harsh grader and your cards are a lot more mint than you think. Mint cards are getting a lot harder to find nowadays so don’t ever sell your cards (or yourself) short. Sometimes listing a card for a high price on eBay and seeing what people offer is a good barometer of price and can help. Sorry man, but no use crying over spilled milk, just keep collecting and good luck!

1 Like

Thank you for the response.

You both agreed to do the trade and were happy with it. You can’t just ask to undo it after the card graded higher than you predicted, you should have graded the card yourself before doing any kind of trades / sales.

The card belongs to him now, you can’t expect him to just hand it over back to you…

15 Likes

Okay

We’re you doing all the trades in person?

Yes, we live in the same city

The problem is that you feel that people will treat you the same if you treat them the same. It is nice and encouraged to treat people like how you want to be treated but you cannot expect that in return.

No one owes you just because you did something nice for them. You do nice things because it comes from your heart and your willingness to do it.

This is a very valuable lesson to you about the real world. Have zero expectations on how someone would treat you and never expect something in return for doing a good deed.

3 Likes

Wow, thank you for this. This is exactly what I was wanting out of creating this post.

I really appreciate what you have said.

I will no longer go out of my way for this person.

Thankyou

3 Likes

You’re a fine member of our family here on E4. Use us. Create threads with pictures and ask advice. Don’t wait til a problem arises. This is a great resource for those not quite as experienced. Then later down the road, when you’re an expert yourself, you can help others. You’re already a lot smarter.

Believe me. We all have our stories. Stick with it and complete your goals.

6 Likes

I think you’ve summed up my initial reaction right there.

About the Blastoise; It’s not his fault you didn’t grade the card, even if the result was a PSA 5 or 6. As you’ve said, scarcity is a big factor in determining worth as well. This could’ve been prevented by thinking ahead combined with a bit of research. But of course that’s all in hindsight, so that’s easy for me to say.

The fact you seem to always get the short end of the stick is a more serious problem, though. If you feel like your friend is always getting the better deal out of the trades, then perhaps it is wise to not trade with him anymore. Because if you continue to do so, you might end up ruining the friendship and your collection along with it.

There are plenty of other people out there who are also willing to trade with you, especially here. So take your time, build up connections and get to trust people (this goes for offline people as well) and before you know it you’ll be trading with people from all over the globe and get honest and fair trades. Just do the research before you agree to anything.

In the end, you’ve learned some lessons right now and even though that doesn’t pay off immediately, in the long run you’ll be a better collector for it.

4 Likes

Im pretty emotional right now and reading that brought a tear to my eye.

Thank you Gary. That means alot to me.

Truly.

1 Like

I agree, it is not his fault.

That is a wise choice and I will listen to your advice and no longer trade with this person.

Patience is something I lack so thank you, I will take your advice and slow things down. Im yet to trade with anyone on eFour (mainly because I live in New Zealand and it’s not as straight forward)

I already feel like a stronger collector because of this and what everyone has said so far so thankyou for chiming in! I really, really do appreciate it.

1 Like

Are you trading him cards or giving them to him? Are you giving him easy trades because you’re friends and expecting him to do the same?

I’m not understanding why you’re upset just because he’s gotten excellent grades from the trades you’ve done with him. What did you trade him for the Skyridge Charizard, Gyarados and EX CG Charizard?

What critical information you have left out is what cards you traded for these Charizards +Gyarados that graded 10s. If this friend was ripping you off in trades, then they are not good friend to begin with and there are bigger issues here outside this Blastoise deal. If, however, the past trades you’ve done with this individual were fair, then these trades are irrelevant to the current situation. Just because your friend values ungraded cards more highly than you do (since you’re willing to trade potential 10s and he is not) doesn’t make him a bad person. You should not be doing trades as a favour to someone with the expectation they will pay you back in the future.

Basically what I’m getting at is that these PSA 10 Charizards you traded away are irrelevant to this current situation.

In regards to your Blastoise, the members above have addressed the situation well. You traded for something you thought was equal in value (and at the time, was determined to be equal in value). Your friend took the risk to grade it and was rewarded. Unfortunately, you are no longer entitled to that item. That’s it. It’s unreasonable to expect him to trade back.

I don’t intend to sound mean here, I’m just giving an honest assessment of the situation. I can tell this is a pretty emotional situation for you. Here’s some questions I think would be helpful to reflect on:

  • If you truly consider this guy to be your friend, shouldn’t you be happy for him? Would you be happier if the card graded lower?

  • If his Blastoise graded a PSA 4 and your Umbreon graded a PSA 10, would you expect him to ask for a trade-back? Would you do it?

  • If the cards you traded to him in the past that graded PSA 10 instead graded PSA 8, would you now owe him a favour?

  • If you deemed the card to be a PSA 5-6, do you really want it in your 8-9 collection?
    In the end, remember it’s just a card. There are other Blastoise out there. Is your friendship worth being ruined over this?

EDIT: as a side note, we were talking the other day on Discord about why there tends to not be much trading happening for cards at the multi-hundred dollar level. I think this situation illustrates one of the reasons why.

7 Likes

in your mind, just think, the blastoise got psa 6, move on. not worth living life salty.

2 Likes

Trade was both agreed. Can’t complain about what happens after. Nothing to see here folks!

1 Like

As a side note, it sounds like you could really benefit from grading your best raw cards. Grading takes time and money but it puts you on a level playing field. And if you don’t get the grade you want on a card, you can leverage what you do have in the best way possible to get the grade you want.

I think one of the underrated benefits of grading that a lot of people here come to appreciate with time is utility of the assigned grade when it comes to valuation. A raw card has a huge range of values and always will. It might sell based on people’s conservative condition assessment or it might sell with the full hopes and dreams of a high grade attached to the price. But for established cards like 1st base, both a PSA 6 and a PSA 9 have much smaller, predictable ranges they move within. Removing that unpredictability can lead to a lot more satisfying transactions and, ultimately, reduce the likelihood of leaving a deal with a bad taste in your mouth.

6 Likes

let jesus in ur life and the jealousy will fade away.

1 Like