I hate nostalgia

[Cerulean]

I’ve gotten back into the hobby lately and have been sorting through some of my old cards as a result. The visceral feelings immediately return.

I see cards from the Base Set, and I immediately think of getting the original theme decks for my birthday, not understanding that they were all the same.

Oh look. Jungle Exeggutor. I’m then instantly transported back to my nine-year old self at my grandma’s house, sitting outside with the neighbor kid with our binders and me trying to trade him a bunch of commons and uncommons for a holo and him scoffing and telling me “no.”

Fossil? I remember my mom having a couple of Fossil booster packs waiting for me in the car after school. It was fourth grade. Good times. Who the heck knows if they were first edition. My original binder was accidentally thrown out, so I can’t even check.

Then there’s Team Rocket, my last foray into Pokemon collecting as a child. What beautiful artwork. For some reason, this is where it ended for me in 2000. Don’t know why, but Drowzee always jogs my memory.

Then there is when I re-entered the hobby in 2017, full of hope and believing that I would one day be doing what I love as a business: selling Pokemon cards.

I do that now. I have a day job so it’s a side business, but it’s lucrative and it’s great. Call it my first love, if you will. I’ve met so many great people along the way. Had so many exciting moments.

But it isn’t what I wanted it to be. It’s certainly not the picture I painted in my head.

You go through life and you lose people. Some pass away, others just fall out of your life. The spark I had for this eight years ago is still inside me. The instinctive reaction to seeing cards I love still exists. God, I love this hobby. But sometimes, the nostalgia just becomes absolutely crushing.

I look at Pokemon cards and that’s what I feel. I hear the music from Pokemon Red and Blue as well as Gold and Silver and the same thing occurs. But at the same time, I know this is where I’m supposed to be.

I pray for the day where that spark overtakes me again. I know it’s coming. But not having certain people around throughout the process has created a sense of emptiness in the midst of the joy.

Nostalgia comes from the Greek words “nostos” and “algia,” meaning a painful yearning for the past. I can’t think of a time where it has ever been truly fun, and the more life goes by, the worse the feeling becomes.

But thank God for Pokemon

[Dyl]

It sounds like you may have experienced loss recently. If that’s true, I’m really sorry to hear it. Items from our childhood seem to latch onto emotions and memories tied to those who we shared them with. Do you hate nostalgia because it holds your emotional baggage hostage and prevents you from moving forward?

Nostalgia ties me to Pokemon, but it’s also a franchise that has allowed me to form new memories with the same cards, games, anime seasons, and movies that drew me to the world of Pokemon decades ago.

I don’t hate nostalgia, because it reminds me of who I am and where I came from. For those of us who grew up with limited use of technology, our family, friends, and special belongings are the only paths by which we can connect ourselves to our memories and past, and I think that is very special.

[mrbubbles]

Firstly, if you have lost someone, I am very sorry for your loss.

I think just being able to remember your childhood with nostalgia is a brilliant thing since not many can say they share the same feeling. Also, as painful sometimes, having these feelings is what makes us human.

I also sometimes think of old relations that I had and for whatever reason I am not in touch with or got distanced or have lost. I think about things we used to do and how I enjoyed them, but I don’t let myself sink into despair. After reminiscing, rather than being sad at the lost relation, I’m grateful I got to experience those past times.

Please always allow yourself to reminisce, but don’t let your thoughts sink into despair because they will drown you. It is important to realize that things happened because they happen and there is nothing to change that fact. If there were some mistakes made, use your past to learn from them and be thankful that you can use your faculties to come to that conclusion, which means that you can always be better. Also, these things are always easier to preach than practice, but I know if is not impossible.

Begin at once to live, and count each separate day as a separate life. - Seneca

Cheers!

[xileets]

I would also like to express my sympathies, whether you are dealing with a loss, or merely dealing with life’s movements and changing situation. Life is full of surprises, feelings, memories, reminders… I hope that the near future holds comfort and positive reminders, to help you get through whatever you are dealing with at the moment.

I also look at my collections especially my packaging collection and think back to those times. The multi-sense perception of things. It was a simpler time. Something that provides a re-centering of who I am and what I’ve experienced.

I’ve been thinking about this notion lately as I deal with a difficult career field and relationship woes:

“Just like our favorite jacket or our faces, the wrinkles and cuts give us character, and let us prove at least to ourselves, that we lived and loved deeply.”

[Mr.Garrison]

@Cerulean

You go through life and you lose people. Some pass away, others just fall out of your life. The spark I had for this eight years ago is still inside me. The instinctive reaction to seeing cards I love still exists. God, I love this hobby. But sometimes, the nostalgia just becomes absolutely crushing.

@Cerulean

I pray for the day where that spark overtakes me again. I know it’s coming. But not having certain people around throughout the process has created a sense of emptiness in the midst of the joy.

I can certainly relate.

Loss is always difficult and memories are always powerful. They are the bug and the feature of life.

Just remember those you’ve loved want what’s best for you regardless. Often times just remembering that can light a spark.

[Kijamon]

When my mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer in 2023 it drove the opportunity to thank her.

She didn’t judge what I bought or collected. In fact we bounced off each other. She collected her own stuff and we would laugh about it. She made greetings cards and each card must have cost £500 on average from the cost of her supplies.

She just saw that it made me happy and supported that.

Now I have my own kid and I hope to be as supportive. I remember being on holiday in Florida and I had bought my first cards, pokemon hadn’t had a tcg long. I set it up to teach myself and she offered to play. She couldn’t wrap her head around it and gave up but I appreciated the effort.

I didn’t need her to be dying to tell her that and neither does any of you reading this. Tell them today.

She died 5 weeks after going to her GP with a persistent cough. I miss her every day.

[mrbubbles]

[Cerulean]

My mom also passed away with cancer in late 2023, which is the reason I made this thread.

She was beyond supportive of my hobby. Even bought me Pokemon cards for Christmas and birthdays, including a PSA 10 1st Edition Shining Raichu that I have locked away in a safe.

I plan on building a display case of all the cards she got for me.

I also remember opening PSA returns with her sitting right next to me, with her being so happy whenever I pulled out a 10.

The hobby is still fun. It just isn’t the same anymore without her.

[rtas]

Very sorry for your loss Cerulean. I don’t think there’s anything in the world that will ever come close to having a supportive & loving parent. This thread is a good reminder to set things down and focus on what matters in life..

I hope you’re able to turn things around and find some more positivity & enjoyment soon.

[brendantheclayboy]

It’s always good to see you pop into the forum Matt. I’m so sorry for your loss — absolutely the hardest thing about life is losing those closest to us. And a mother is every man’s closest person. I feel for you. You’re a good man, a great member of the forum, a great presence.

How you feel about red/blue and gold/silver, said so many times over the years and yet still feels just as strong and impactful, you know I feel the same way. I’ve always been appreciative of you being one of those guys I could share sentiments with about the nostalgia of the originals on the threads throughout the years. Keep going strong man. The pain/longing never goes away from loss, but the memory and the love and influence she has continues to strengthen and inspire you. I’m very fond of the memories of those I’ve lost, and thinking about them makes me very happy. They’ve made me who I am.

[mrbubbles]

I am extremely sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine the grief.

As a relatively new parent myself, your mum is a wonderful example on the positive and long term impacts a parent can have on their child even just by being actively involved and supportive of their interests and hobbies.

Thanks you for sharing. It is very inspiring.

Only time can heal what reason cannot

[emolga_pachirisu]

[teamrocketop]

Thank you for taking the time to share with us your past and bringing up some hard feelings and my heart breaks for you and your family and everyone else who shared in this thread. Just turned 40 in November and I felt like in my 30s was the roughest, so much loss within my family and other’s around me. The worst part was trying to explain to my daughter about her grandpa and both our dogs back to back to back within a 3 year time span while also trying to stay strong and process those feelings as well. Kids don’t understand how we filter/empathize dealing with things and they are very blunt and it’s hard to take a step back and that they are just trying to understand. I can talk about this all day but if it gets really bad, never be ashamed to therapy, I fought it for a while but sometimes we need that 3rd perspective to get through it. I feel that nostalgia and I think it’s just focusing and laughing at those good times. If we all could just show a little compassion, we can finally move forward. I love being part of this forum and had a huge hiatus and it’s good to be back and read threads like this (no matter how hard)
Much Aloha,

-Blake

[Parallax]

I like nostalgia. It reminds me of better times, even if they are being exaggerated by my brain.