Let me weave you a tale of childhood innocence and regret. What is the rarest, most desirable card next to the Holy Grail 1st ed Zard? The Holy Star. The Spiralsturmangriff. The Black Quaza. English EX Deoxys Rayquaza Gold Star. It is here where our story begins.
I was a young lad on vacation in Florida. I bought a $5 EX Deoxys pack. Little did I know the Holy Star itself laid entombed in this foil coffin. I broke the seal on the tomb and I held the Sky Snake carefully in my hands. I knew this card was special. At that moment I became the embodiment of my username. I was the Flying Master.
But fate is a cruel mistress. For some reason, all of my holo EX Deoxys cards would warp, as if bending down to the Noir Quetzalcoatl himself (seriously, what’s with this set?). Eventually, even the Golden Beast himself would succumb to the pressure… I could have thrown the card and it would have came back like a boomerang.
Alas, hope was not lost for I had in my possession an object to undo the accursed spell. A leaf press. With this weapon, even the most unruly leaves could be straighted and preserved forever. But would it work on Pokémon cards? There was no time to waste. I summoned the Guardian of the Air and slapped him down between two slabs of cardboard. I tightened that press to absolute tightness. There would be no escape.
A month passes and I am ready to release the Shiny Lord from his second tomb. I unscrew the press and pull out the card. It worked! The card was as straight as it was the day I pulled it! But… something was wrong. Battle scars. The card was riveted in the shape of the corrugated hug of the cardboard press. Eternal sadness. I have damaged my god.
I prayed to the Holy Star every night. The card actually lost the rivets (mostly) over time. I’m getting it graded soon out of respect.
tldr: I wish I was nicer to my Rayquaza gold star